It’s Harder Than It Looks: Real Dating Tips For Men

There are masses of men out there all wanting to make their mark in the dating scene.

There is no shortage of men out there all wanting to make their mark in the dating scene. 

All wanting to find that special someone they can go out for drinks with on a Saturday, and curl up with UberEats and Netflix on a Sunday. 

This may be shocking news given the commitment-phobic reputation my fellow XY chromosome brood have acquired. But it’s true.

So what’s the issue?

Men don’t tend to ask for help. Heck, many men won’t even ask for directions when lost. 

But here’s the good news. 

As the world around us changes, the dating scene changes… the way you meet a partner changes!

So let’s help you improve your game - and get you that snuggly romance you’re after. 

But first, the most important advice 

No matter how awesome the advice is that you’re given, you should always listen to it from the perspective of ensuring that it aligns with your personality and sense of self.  There are tips out there that will work wonders for one guy but do absolutely nothing for the other.  So make sure that the advice makes sense to you and aligns your personality.There’s zero point trying to do things that just don’t match up with who you are. After all, your date will know! 

As there’s so much information out there on dating (just a couple of clicks away), it’s easy to be led astray. Be wary that some of the information you come across may hinder your dating progress as opposed to improving it. Most likely it’s some rushed article about a collection of thoughts that does not take into consideration the female perspective and therefore is already set up for failure. 

Lucky for you, you’ve found the right place. 

After some heavy research and a boat load of feminine contributions, I have compiled a collection of essential dating tips men need to use.

So get that pen and paper ready...  

1. Dating is stressful 

Dating  can be extremely stressful, especially when starting off. That’s why it’s important to remember that this stress doesn’t last long. Like all new things, it takes time to get comfortable and become somewhat good at it. 

So, understandably at the beginning of this dating journey, you might be feeling discouraged, unmotivated, closed-off or even wondering why you're bothering. 

Trust me, this mindset changes over time.

2. First impressions are super important 

That slightly faded, sort of ripped jumper (or sweater as you North Americans say) you consider lucky might want to stay at home when it comes to meeting your date for the first time. Or wear it but wear it with confidence - you can look good in anything if you wear it with swagger.

Just remember, first impressions play a big role in the connection you feel with each other. 

Man with a pink background, only the bottom half of his face shows. Fixing his pink bow tie on his white dress shirt

Of course, I don’t mean pretend to be someone you’re not, but at least take pride in your appearance and show off your charming personality - be authentic. Show the girl that you care about yourself. I’m not saying go all out with your best three-piece suit, but take the time to have a shower, shave or tidy up that neck warmer (out of control facial hair) you're sporting and put on something appealing. 

Get that date off to a good start, giving you one less thing to worry about. 

3. Make sure you feel comfortable 

Don’t drink? Maybe don’t choose a bar for your first date! 

Instead pick a place where you feel comfortable.

You might think that waiting for your date to pick somewhere is you being a gentleman but most of the time women like men that are decisive. So step up and get the ball rolling. 

With this in mind, do be careful where you decide to go as a Friday night down at your local pub where you might bump into your mates doesn’t exactly scream romance. 

Simply pick a nice, cosy place you think you’ll both feel relaxed enough to unwind and be yourselves. This doesn’t have to be a place to grab food or a couple of drinks, it could be an activity or show you think she’ll enjoy. 

Better yet, if you’ve matched with this girl using our Wandure app then all of this is taken care of. 

Simply sit back, relax and get ready for a memorable night.

4. Confidence is key 

There’s no doubt about it, confidence is attractive. 

No matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you look like, adding confidence to your dating arsenal will take you far. If you want to go that little bit further, perhaps sprinkle a little enthusiasm in there whilst you’re at it. 

One huge caveat though - being over-confident is a turn-off. And that’s a fact. 

So try and keep it within a normal range. If you’re somewhat of a shy guy then not to worry, confidence is one of those things you can literally practice. 

Beforehand try going out in social settings and just chatting with people you don’t know, - make conversation, be intrigued, practice being impressionable - it’ll come eventually. If that’s not your cup of tea then whilst on your date try picking a topic or subject you’re enthusiastic about, this will help her sense your confidence as you talk passionately about it. 

Man and woman in front of building with large windows, hugging and laughing.

For those who are still doubting this whole confidence bit, to you, I say this - you might not be the tallest, leanest, Thor-est looking guy out there, but have no doubt. It’s more attractive to a woman to show that you are comfortable in your own skin and just all around happy to be you. 

So just be yourself - Thor or not. 

5. Don’t do all the talking 

A simple yet forgotten dating tip -  on your date make sure you don’t do ALL the talking

After all, if it goes well you’ll have plenty of time to share your stories and catch up in the future. Don’t be afraid of pauses - in fact, embrace them. 

Collect your thoughts and mix up the conversation by asking your date simple questions that’ll keep her engaged. And show that you can listen and that you are interested in what she has to say. 

This is essential and will help you go far in the dating world. 

Man and woman on a date in a retro looking restaurant with Krispy Cream donuts on the table

6. Keeping it light 

Probably one of the simplest tips for dating. 

Keep the conversation light, fun and positive. 

On your first date, you don’t want to bring down the mood with conversations about the issues going on in your life, the job you hate or the friend that you’re annoyed with. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying never have serious conversations. Just in the early stages of dating, be a bit more relaxed, laugh and talk about positive things, just have some fun. 

7. Try not to chat about your ex on a first date!

If there’s one topic you need to avoid, it’s that of the ex. 

Talking about an ex on a first date is dangerous territory. If you can, stay well away from it. It’s very unlikely your date will be interested, and well, it can leave the atmosphere feeling a little awkward... 

However, if your date does bring it up in conversation, keep it short but sweet, without raising suspicion. End with some reassurance that the past is history and that you want to spend the time together - focusing on getting to know her instead. 

8. Turn it off 

Remember all those times you’ve been out with your friends and been annoyed that their phones have gone off, or that they’re constantly on them? That annoyance is amplified in the dating environment. 

The solution? 

man on cellphone in coffee shop, awaiting date.

JUST TURN IT OFF! Not just on silent or on vibrate, as I can guarantee that you’ll still find it distracting. 

By turning it completely off you are showing her that you want all of your attention on here and now. I’m certain she’ll appreciate the gesture. 

9. Manners maketh man 

This dating tip is pretty much a must and applied to most things in life. Manners and politeness don’t cost a thing, and yet they are prized by most. 

No matter the situation, the people involved or the environment you’re in, having basic manners helps you out so much. The same can be said for dating. 

If you treat those around you with kindness and respect, she’ll see that you care, that you’re genuinely a nice person and she’ll likely be more inclined to follow through with future dates. 

So bring out those pleases and thank yous.

woman having coffee while seated at a table on a sunny day.

If you go on a date and disregard those valued basic manners then the chances of success are very slim. For those that struggle or are clueless as to what some basic manners are let me give you a heads up so you can go away and practice. 

- It’s beyond basic, but needs to be said, say please and thank you.

- Don’t talk over someone or interrupt them it’s just not a very nice thing to do.

- Be considerate of those around you - simple but effective.

- Remember that everyone’s equal, including service staff.

- Give your whole hearted attention to those you’re engaging with -  totally a  common courtesy.

10. Don’t play games & be honest 

I get it, I really do. You don’t want to seem needy, clingy, desperate or overbearing. 

But hey, if you had a good date, you connected and felt like there is or could be something there, then just let her know

You can even attempt to put it somewhere in the conversation at the end of the date if you feel that strongly about it.

You could say - “this was great, would you be open to seeing each other again sometime?”

It’s as easy as that. 

If she responds positively and says yes then tell her you’ll call her and by god make sure you follow up with it. I know in films they always leave it a couple of days, some even say three days is the perfect window before contact… but then again this is real life. 

Man with sunglasses on in t-shirt, trees in the background, texting on his phone.

If you don’t follow up and make clear on what you want within a couple of days, you’ll seem like you’re not bothered, or didn’t enjoy the date. The sooner you let it be known if you had a great time, the better.

On the other hand, if you don’t want a second date then forget the section above and whatever you do, don’t say you’ll call her. Don’t straight up lie with no intention of calling her. 

It’ll make you feel bad and ultimately could end up hurting her, and for what? To save face? No. If you don’t want to continue seeing her then again don’t leave it a couple of days before you let it be known. Do it as soon as you can, save you both some time and effort. 

11. Get insight from your female friends

Dating, unfortunately, is not something we learn at school. Why not, I don’t know. But I digress.

It’s more of a trial and error type of situation - jumping in at the deep end sort of situation. 

With that in mind, it’s always beneficial to actually seek advice and perspectives of people  already in your life, including your female friends.

Man and woman having coffee together at a long table in front of large windows.

If you really want to boost your dating skills then why not talk to a female friend to really get an idea of what works and what doesn’t? After all, the best advice comes directly from the source. Or if you’re dating guys, ask your friends who have experience!

Of course, everyone has different opinions and tastes but discussing where you went, what you did and what you talked about to a female friend should help give you some form of helpful feedback you can use going forward. 

So what’s the conclusion?

Overall, finding love is absolutely a combination of luck, perseverance and patience. 

But with these helpful tips in hand men can gain a push in the right direction when it comes to the dating scene.

So, what are you waiting for - get yourself out there. 

Good luck (but we know you don’t need it - not even that one lucky jumper)!

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