Especially when you aren't changing up your conversation topics.
We ask the same questions or make the same statements over and over again.
I’m really into the Marvel cinematic universe. What do you do for work? Ice cream is my favourite dessert. What's your family like? I play soccer every Thursday. How old are you? Blah, blah, blah.
And it gets boring!
When dates become routine, we start having the same conversations, or we always bring our dates to the same places and so on. No wonder dates become bland, tiresome, and we lose our investment in meeting new people.
That's when you find yourself on the same date for the sixteenth time with the same fruity cocktail, as per usual, eating the same main course with sixteen different people, and honestly couldn't care less to be on that date . . . which isn’t o good. When one person isn't invested in a date, or in meeting someone new, then it's a waste of both people's time because it's unlikely anything will actually come of that date. Which sort of misses the whole point of a date, doesn’t it?
So what can you do about it?
Well, you can think of some new conversation starters or topics to help direct your date conversation where you actually want it to go: somewhere fun, interesting, and exciting.
To help you out, we've compiled a list of some of our favourite conversation topics and starters.
Check it out!
Ethics problems, like the Trolley Problem, can help open up a conversation that reveals a bit of each other’s ethical and moral decision-making process, something you would definitely want to know about in a potential significant other. To add a bit more depth, you can compare your Trolley Problem answers to your answers to the Footbridge Dilemma (oh yes, there’s another one)!
Would You Rather lets you ask questions that might reveal some great insight into the dreamboat sitting next to you at the bar. For instance, you can ask, “would you rather lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak?” This question might possibly give you a better idea as to whether you’re on a date with an extrovert or an introvert. But, Would You Rather can also be an excellent tool for flirting! Would you rather come back to my place or go to yours? *Wink wink, nudge nudge*
At some point in our lives, we've probably all played word association. That's where you say a word, and the other person says the first thing they think of in relation to that word.
Although I wouldn't suggest using this game as serious grounds for dating or not dating someone, that doesn't mean it's not a great low-key first date activity.
Just don't be heartbroken if you say "marriage" expecting someone to respond "love" because you're really hitting it off and they actually say "divorce" because it is just a game and their answer might not reflect on you or how the date is going at all. It's a game, so keep it light and fun and remember to manage your expectations appropriately.
A wrong answer isn’t the end of the world.
Here’s a good one.
Name five things you’d bring with you if you knew you were going to be trapped on a desert island for five years. And why would you bring those things?
Questions like this allow us to get creative and at the same time reveal what we value as being truly essential for us to exist. If the person across the table says they’re bringing a five—year supply of booze and you don’t drink, or being around people who drink makes you uncomfortable, then that might be a solid red flag.
This game is a sure way to find red flags or green flags on a first date without being super obvious about it.
Ask questions that let your date compare and contrast themselves to other people, fictional or not. It reveals what they think they’re like and what they value in life.
My go-to for this kind of question is: If you had to pick any character in a book, movie, or TV show who is most similar to you, who would you choose? And why?
Also, this question is great if you’ve been discussing an actor or book or movie. Natural flow from one conversation to the next.
Sometimes the best way to spark a good first date conversation is actually doing something together.
If you’re grabbing a drink together at the local pub after work on a rather uneventful Tuesday evening then make something happen.
Grab a copy of Scrabble or a deck of cards. Let yourself get competitive, and see how the other person handles it. After all, you might want to know if your date is a good sport or not.
Get your giggle on. Ask them to tell you their go-to funny story, something that always makes them smile and have a good chuckle together. This is a great way to start a conversation because it sets a fun and light atmosphere and tells you a bit about your date’s sense of humour and life.
If they’re feeling a little put on the spot, give them a moment to think of something while you volunteer your favourite funny story or tell them about something that always makes you laugh.
The best part of all of these conversation starters or topics is that they have the potential to open up more conversations, and possibly even get you a second date if you’re both vibing with each other’s answers.
When it comes down to it, dates can be really stressful or boring when they just aren’t going the way you wish. So having a few good conversation starters or topics in your back pocket might just be the lifesaver your date needs.